A Year Ago, I Whispered This…

Let’s take a little walk down memory lane.

One year ago today, I did something that felt both exhilarating and terrifying—I took a solo trip to an event that would change everything. I had just completed a coaching container that cracked me open in ways I never expected. I was starting to see my own potential, but I wasn’t fully stepping into it yet. So, when the opportunity came to attend an event in Madison (a three-hour drive for me), I said yes.

I booked my own hotel. I got my very first solo Uber. I put on my big girl pants and did the thing.

I even went down a day early so I could attend a casual dinner with my coaches and other attendees. It was meant to be low-key, but my nerves didn’t get the memo.

Pit Sweat Nervous

I was the first one to the restaurant.

Standing in the lobby, my heart was racing. My inner dialogue went something like:
What if I don’t fit in? What if they wonder why I’m even here? What if I say something dumb?

Then, a woman walked in. Something about her felt familiar, like she belonged to the group. I took a chance and started chatting with her. Her name was Coz. (She later gave me a ride back to my hotel—forever grateful for that small but meaningful act of kindness.)

As we talked, my nerves started to settle. And when the rest of the group arrived, I felt a mix of awe and imposter syndrome. These women were everything I aspired to be—confident, successful, radiant. I couldn’t believe I was sitting at the table with them, let alone about to spend two more days in their presence.

I was overwhelmed, excited, and nervous all at once…

…until the question was asked.

The Moment That Changed Everything

At some point during dinner, the question was asked:

“If there was one thing you could ask of this group, what would it be?”

Thankfully, they didn’t start with me. But that also meant I was going to be the last one to answer. Cue more pit sweat.

As the anticipation built, my throat tightened. My heart pounded. Tears welled up in my eyes. I could feel it coming, that raw and vulnerable moment where I had to say it out loud.

When it was finally my turn, I barely managed to whisper the words:

“Don’t let me stay small.”

And with that, the tears fell, but something shifted.

I Was Never Meant to Stay Small

In that moment, I felt both relief and deep certainty. The women at that table had my back. They weren’t going to let me shrink or hide from the potential they saw in me—potential I was only beginning to believe in myself.

What I’ve come to understand since then is that this wasn’t just a random fear of mine. It’s something deeply tied to who I am. As a Manifestor in Human Design, one of my greatest obstacles is embracing my own bigness. I was never meant to play small. I was never meant to wait for permission.

I am here to initiate. To trust myself. To go first.

And if you’re reading this, maybe you need that reminder, too.

You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to step into your power. You are allowed to become the version of yourself you’ve been holding back.

One year ago, I whispered it. Today, I’m living it.