Is it self-sabotage… or impostor syndrome?

There’s a question I’ve been sitting with lately:

Is it self-sabotage… impostor syndrome… or both?

Because honestly?
It’s been feeling like both.

Self-sabotage has been a theme in my life for as long as I can remember — even before I had language for it.

Self-sabotage is when we engage in behaviors or thought patterns that quietly undermine our own success, happiness, and growth. It can look like procrastination, perfectionism, comfort eating, numbing out, ruining good relationships, or talking ourselves out of opportunities that could change our lives.

And the tricky part?

We don’t do it because we’re broken.
We do it because part of us is trying to stay safe.

Impostor syndrome works in a similar way. It’s that persistent feeling that your success isn’t really yours… that you somehow tricked your way into being here… that eventually someone will realize you don’t belong.

And lately, both of these have been very loud for me.

Being asked to speak at a women’s conference has been one of the most incredible things that’s ever happened to me — and also one of the most terrifying.

Because the moment the excitement hit…
so did the voice that said:

“You’re not ready.”
“You’re not qualified.”
“Who do you think you are?”

Cue impostor syndrome.

And right behind it?
Self-sabotage.

The procrastination.
The nit-picking.
The urge to delay, over-prepare, or somehow mess it up before anyone else can.

Years ago, this would have completely derailed me.

I would have found a reason not to do it.
Or I would have waited until it felt “perfect.”
Or I would have shrunk myself to avoid being seen.

But healing changes you.

Shadow work changes you.

Now I can feel the fear… and still move forward.

What’s wild is how this shows up not just in business — but in relationships too.

When something feels really good…
When someone shows up for me in a way I’m not used to…

There’s a part of me that still wonders,
“Is this real?”
“How could someone care this much?”

That’s not because I don’t deserve it —
It’s because old versions of me didn’t feel safe receiving it.

And this is where the real work happens.

Not in eliminating fear.
But in learning how to stay open when fear shows up.

Because good things can happen to you.
In your business.
In your friendships.
In your life.

Flipping that inner switch — from bracing for disappointment to allowing possibility — is how we grow.
How we flourish.
How we thrive.

And if you’re in that in-between space right now — wanting more, but scared to receive it — you’re not alone.

You’re not broken.
You’re just healing.